


Recovery is road taken together (So let me soothe your pain)

by sunshine_kitcat (moonkevin)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Trauma, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonkevin/pseuds/sunshine_kitcat
Summary: There's a calm before every storm Renjun loved to live in.But the fall was inevitable.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno/Liu Yang Yang/Na Jaemin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	Recovery is road taken together (So let me soothe your pain)

**Author's Note:**

> Time with you - Kyuhyun (Super Junior)

There’s always a calm before every storm, like the slow fluttering of lights that line the side of the auditorium around Renjun as his heart finally calms. There’s always the slow melting of snow in the early days of spring before the rage of rainfall to welcome in a new year, like the first gentle piano notes that fill the silent theatre. Renjun takes his place under the spotlight, a painfully white beacon that burns Renjun’s eyes when he looks directly at it. His fingers relax, the very image of serene as he twists his body into the ready position. The crowd watches in anticipation, a drawn breath that spread over the room like a tightrope being held at its limit. At that moment, Renjun feels everything in his body slowly unwinding like a spring, launching into autopilot as he starts the show. It’s fantastic, two hours of his life under the world’s biggest stage at possibly the peak of his career. Like a leaf dancing in the summer winds, flying with the colourful kites that fill the sky as ecstasy coursed through Renjun’s body, carrying him through scenes and sequences, drawing gasps and wonder from the audience. Renjun keeps the memories of his own self as a child, staring at the graceful ballerinas and beautiful dancers on the stage close to him throughout the show, like the wind behind a sailor’s boat. He’s living his dream, and he couldn’t be happier.

Of course, Renjun had to wake up.

The screams of terror ring in his ears like white noise, the flames dancing in his vision as pain racks his body. Renjun can still feel the splinters of wood in his body, his eyes fluttering close as he laid in the empty auditorium, shards of the fallen chandelier impaling his entire body. Corpses lay around him like eggshells after a baking competition, dejected and useless. They say your life flashes through your eyes in your final breaths, yet all Renjun can see is darkness and fire.

The storm engulfs him, yet the aftermath is even more painful.

Like the watery tomb of a sailor, Renjun drowns under pain every day. He remembers waking up to pain, and how it never decides to go away. An invisible cloud settles on his shoulders like a sharp needle, pricking at his skin and pulling his body apart from the inside. He remembers the tubes of painkillers he had injected into his bloodstream since it was too painful to swallow the pills, sending his damaged body into a perpetual state of pain and numbness.

But the physical pain is bearable. The burns will heal, his bones will set and his scars will fade. On the other hand, the burns of his lost dream don’t fade.

Jeno is the first to visit him, the first to see Renjun wake up and the first to fuss over him when the pain subsided enough for Renjun to acknowledge his presence. Jeno is like a bandaid to his wounds, the never-ending positivity who is never afraid to let Renjun remember parts of his broken dream. He’ll never dance again, but Jeno reminisces about every show Renjun ever did, from the impromptu performances Renjun made to swindle ice cream from Jeno to the grand shows that marked his six-year career as one of the world’s leading dancers. Jeno brings him food when he’s first able to eat solid food again, indulging in all of Renjun’s craving like a worried spouse of a pregnant woman. Like the string that held Renjun’s kite together in the storm, Jeno’s form of catharsis was like sitting in front of a fan on a hot summer day. Renjun’s pain doesn't fade, ebbing and flowing in its max potential at all times, yet he welcomes it with open arms. Jeno allows him to be brave, confessing the smallest bits of pain and annoyance without the worry of burdening him. The storm clouds are chased away with every grin Jeno allows Renjun to indulge in.

Jaemin comes second, yet somehow just as important. If anything, the sheer fussing power of Na Jaemin let Renjun’s bandages come off a whole week earlier. Between Jaemin’s grandma’s special breathing techniques and traditional medicine, the nurses that check on him must’ve had a few heart attacks at the random canisters of Jaemin’s packages lying everywhere. Renjun welcomes him with joy, allowing Jaemin to cut into his rest time and complain about his office mates as if Renjun’s a therapist. Like an oven mitt to Renjun’s burning cookie tray, Jaemin eases him back into a routine of sorts. Casual and fun, to take Renjun’s mind off the constant train wreck of thinking about his future. Jaemin brings him clothes the first day Renjun wakes up, a geeky shirt he stole from Renjun nearly six years ago, a collection of Renjun’s ballet shoes that don’t fit anymore and a cacophony of hoodies and sweats he stole over the years. Renjun can’t exactly wear them, but Jaemin allows him to dream of whatever ridiculous outfit he’ll shock the press with on his discharge. Jaemin makes the scars heal a little faster than Renjun would care to admit, but he admits it nonetheless. The love in Jaemin’s eyes is enough of a payoff for Renjun’s embarrassment.

About a week into Renjun’s bed quarantine, he hears news of the press trying to break into the hospital for a photo of him. Hospital security couldn’t stand a chance against the scoop-hungry vultures, twisting a knot of guilt in Renjun’s stomach. Donghyuck arrived like an angel, according to Jeno, chasing the vultures away with the threat of suing half of the nation’s media company. Really, Donghyuck’s abusing his internet celebrity status, but Renjun won’t complain. Donghyuck arrives like the warm sun on a winter morning, sassy and dramatic and uncaring for Renjun’s entire _situation_ , but Renjun has put up with Donghyuck for more than two decades. He manages. Donghyuck is like the hurricane that prevents the cleanup from going smoothly, yet he’s also the 3 AM calls that kept Renjun’s mood up. If Jeno brought him positivity and Jaemin something to look forwards to, Donghyuck lets Renjun enjoy the moment. In what seems to be the most counter-productive way of helping Renjun get through his hospital time, Donghyuck brings him news of how the world misses him and how so much talent is rising in his stead. The crew Renjun thought he disappointed picked up a dancer on Renjun’s recommendation, one of his juniors from the dance academy. Donghyuck shows him Jisung’s videos like a proud mama bird, bringing Jisung to visit the person he’s replacing just to diss Renjun. Really, Renjun can’t get a better friend. Like the kite spool that reels Renjun into safety from the storm, Donghyuck welcomes him back with open arms, as if Renjun never left. The shards that landed his left eye took away Renjun’s ability to see out of it, now hidden with Donghyuck’s personally crafted eyepatch. Renjun wishes he could complain about it being pink. Instead, he cries in gratitude in front of the sun to lead him home.

Yangyang is the last to come to visit, coming after his group came back from their Japanese tour, but he’s the first to tell the world about Renjun’s condition. The video of him singing while Yangyang plays violin has garnered roughly a million views in a week. The day he visits is a rose-gold pool of joy and relief, a reminder that Renjun’s friends remember him not just out of guilt or obligation. Yangyang’s manager does eventually call him back, trading a deal for the rest of Yangyang’s idol group to see their favourite ballerina stuck in an ugly hospital gown. The next day, Yangyang shows up with Kun’s homemade flavours from China, and they waste another day eating jajangmyeon and laughing at TwoSetViolin. Like the whiff of air when Renjun comes home to China, Yangyang is the oxygen he drew after submerging under pain for so long. As the tail of Renjun's lost kite, Yangyang flies with him through his recovery entirely, arguing with his management to squeeze every second from his life to stay with Renjun. Renjun wonders if the blue sky could ever host a kite with a more beautiful tail. His burns soothe with every cheeky grin Yangyang flashes him, the slow ebb of pain fading to a dull hum after so little time.

On the day of his discharge, the four idiots he calls home blindfold an injured man and asks him to give them faith as he’s led through the streets of Seoul. The sunlight peeks through the black tinted blindfold on his head, the touch of the outside world on Renjun’s fragile soul like a dust of hope in the darkest night. Yangyang and Donghyuck chat his ears off, pausing only to argue with Jaemin ever so often. Jeno soothes them like the songbirds that drown the raging waterfalls. They always called Renjun the moon to their perfect night, beautiful and illuminating the dark, yet Renjun can’t help but wonder if the moon could hear the crickets at night. He longs to hear nature’s melody again.

Predictably, the boys throw him a party on the banks of the Han River, fairy lights and lava lamps decorating the night sky in a warm golden hue. The crickets are replaced with loud chatter and clinking beer bottles. The stars smile at them with content, littering the dark night with a million possibilities. The moon sits at the center of it all, like a beacon to let Renjun know he’s truly where he belongs. They fall asleep on top of each other, squished in a tiny tent not meant to host 5 long humans. Renjun doesn’t care. He ignores the sharp pain that comes inevitably as Jaemin kicks in his sleep, indulging in the comfort the boys he holds so close to his heart allows him. His shattered dream is a million pieces of glass Jeno, Jaemin, Donghyuck and Yangyang hang as fairy lights to light a new path for him. He’ll navigate the world some other way.

“Injun?” Jeno whispers, chest rumbling under Renjun. Renjun blinks, staring at him under the moonlight. He’s peacefully pretty, Renjun muses. Like the faint stage lights that fade away after Renjun’s shows.

“Hmm?” Renjun hums, careful not to disturb the sleeping Yangyang pressed against his back. Jeno’s eyes fill with concern, painting the black orbs with a kind of sadness Renjun’s not sure he’ll ever get used to.

“What are you going to be in the future? The whole dancer thing isn’t going to work now,” Jeno asks, worry lacing every word. Renjun sighs, thinking of the colourful kites in the sky. His broken one will never fly, but it’ll be hanged in his heart nonetheless.

“Happy,” Renjun mumbles back, much to Jeno’s bemusement.

He’ll be happy as long as he has them.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on twitter if you want: @heonynchans


End file.
